Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
