btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
