Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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