He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
