Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
