I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
