You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
