Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
