exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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