I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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