So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
