Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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