10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
