And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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