i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't deserve a penis
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
