Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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