Soap is not a condiment
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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