There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
