I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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