She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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