your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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