We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
