Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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