no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
