Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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