i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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