CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
