Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
