oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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