How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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