the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
