Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
