idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
