you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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