Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
