I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
