I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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