I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
