she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
