Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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