note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
