shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
