I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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