In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
