If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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