Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
