I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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