please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
