btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Alive.
So much puke
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
