Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
