one might say we're banned from that church
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
