Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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