I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dear god my vagina.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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